The Past Tense of Love

Paris. January, 2016. The train slowly pulls into the final station on the line as the PA buzzer goes off, “Port De Bagnolet. C'est la dernière station. S'il vous plaît, descendez ici.” Seated by the window, I was still in a daze and completely unaware that I was the only one left in the derelict carriage. This separation withdrawal, a whirlwind of memories, was to be expected after spending a week with her in Edinburgh but nothing that I did could have prepared myself for its onslaught.

Fast forward. Singapore. September, 2017. I was still trying to relive those moments precariously through the images as though they were stuck in a loop. The only difference was that the old ’she' no longer existed. It felt like everything was happening too quickly and before I realised it, we were both on our own again. But the loop kept playing on and on.

What if love is capable of continuing even after it has ended? We always talk about love existing in our current reality but we hardly talk about the footprint that it leaves behind and how it changes our lives. Maybe that is why there are hardly any words to describe love in the past tense at all. My personal experience these past few months has taught me that in the aftermath of all the brokenness, perhaps love can indeed go on - albeit in a form where words have failed and only these photos could make up for it.

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The Past Tense of Love

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Where she used to stand and smile at me ..

 Where she stood overlooking the city as I began recording our first trip together ..

Where she stood overlooking the city as I began recording our first trip together ..

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Where she walked off into an adventure of a lifetime ..

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Where we drove out to in the middle of the night to catch the aurora lights ..

 Where she kicked me (kiddingly) on my chest as we caught a beautiful sunset at this secret hideout ..

Where she kicked me (kiddingly) on my chest as we caught a beautiful sunset at this secret hideout ..

 Where I asked if we were officially together yet and she replied glaringly, "Are we not?"

Where I asked if we were officially together yet and she replied glaringly, "Are we not?"

 Where I finally let go ..

Where I finally let go ..


Ps. Sometimes, we need to make a monster out of the past in order to let go but this time round, I chose to take the long and tedious way of coming to terms with the beautiful memories that was once shared together and say, "I'm glad we had these."


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Where we bid goodbye ..